My Friends Make Me Spend Too Much Money. What Do I Do?

A reader sent in this question:

Hi Pennmoney,

I love my friends, but when I’m with them, I end up spending way too much money. They’re really nice people and very good friends who have been there for me, but sometimes I feel like I just cannot keep up with their lifestyle. I have my own priorities that I want to save for. At the same time, I don’t want to lose out on their company either. What do I do?

Anon

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOUR FRIENDS MAKE YOU SPEND MONEY?

Friendships are a valuable part of life, but they can sometimes impact our financial well-being. This is the truth. Of course we appreciate diverse perspectives and enjoy spending time with friends from different financial backgrounds, but it’s important to find that balance which respects our own financial boundaries.

Is it possible to preserve your friendships without ruining your bank balance?

COMMUNICATION IS KEY:

Open and honest communication is the foundation of any successful relationship – platonic or romantic. Talk to your friends about your financial priorities and limitations openly. Explain that while you value their friendship and enjoy time together, you must prioritise control over your spending.

Often, our friends aren’t aware of our financial limitations – which is rarely by choice. They might not even be aware of the impact their behaviour has on you. By expressing your concerns, you allow your friends to understand your perspective and adjust their expectations.

SUGGEST ALTERNATIVES:

If your friends tend to choose expensive outings or locations, propose more budget-friendly alternatives that you can all enjoy. Maybe it’s an evening at home vs going out. If the question of “why” comes up, be honest about how you’re not in a place to spend the money the original location calls for. By offering alternatives, you show willingness to participate while keeping your financial well-being in mind.

SET BOUNDARIES AND STICK TO THEM:

End of the day, you need to establish personal boundaries and be firm in sticking to them. No one will care about your financial well-being more than you. Commit to yourself first, before your friendships. It might be uncomfortable sometimes, but politely decline invitations to activities beyond your budget. Remember, saying no is perfectly okay if it means safeguarding your financial stability. If your friends truly value your time and company, they’ll understand and respect your boundaries.

Balancing friendship and finances can be challenging, but it’s crucial to prioritize your financial well-being. Honesty and openness about your financial situation can help foster healthy and mutually respectful relationships with friends who tend to encourage overspending.

True friendship is built on understanding and respect; friends who truly care about you will value your financial well-being as much as you do.