Why Do We Shop When We’re Stressed?

Picture this – you’ve had a bad day. Maybe it’s work, maybe it’s family, maybe it’s your kid, your pet or your partner. Whatever it is, you’re seeing red – and before you know it – you’ve gone on a rampage on the shopping apps, added to cart and checked out. Then, you exhale.

So why do we shop when we’re stressed?

The science behind stress shopping says that every time we shop, we’re hit by dopamine, the feel-good hormone. Dopamine is the same chemical that makes us feel happy when we eat chocolate or get a like on our social media posts. So, technically, retail ‘therapy’ does work, at least for a little while. That dopamine rush gives us a quick mood boost, making us feel happier and more satisfied.

Research – based on American consumers – shows that younger Americans are ‘doomspending’ to cope with stress. While we don’t have the data about doomspending for India, we do have data that UPI is making us overspend. So it’s likely that younger (urban elite) Indians are partaking in anxiety-driven spending as well.

Of course there’s a catch

This dopamine hit is super temporary. It doesn’t do anything to solve the underlying problem or cause of stress. It’s like putting a tiny Band-Aid on a big wound—it might cover it up for a bit, but it cannot heal the wound. As a result, you get caught in a cycle of buying and buying and buying. You feel good for a moment, but then the stress returns, and you’re reaching for your wallet again.

The trouble is, while you’re chasing those short-lived highs, your bank account is taking a serious hit. You might even start feeling more stressed because now you’re worrying about your finances too. According to surveys, nearly 71% of people who engage in emotional spending later regret it because of the financial strain it causes. It’s like trying to fill a void with stuff, but the void remains—and now you’ve got clutter and a depleted bank account to deal with.

So, while retail therapy might seem like a quick fix, it’s not the best solution in the long run. It’s important to find healthier ways to cope with stress that don’t involve spending every time you’re feeling down.

How to stop emotional spending – A survivor’s tale

As someone who has gone through this, Here are a few things that have worked for me, apart from common wisdom on how to kick a bad habit.

• Acknowledge that you have a problem—This seems slightly philosophical, but admitting to yourself that you have a problem helps you observe your reactions the next time you feel the need to overspend. When you know what you’re doing, you can stop yourself from doing it. This won’t happen overnight, but with repeated effort, it will help you put a plug on unnecessary spending.
  
• Identify the outcome you’re looking for – We spend to distract ourselves, to feel a sense of escape from an unpleasant situation, or for some kind of instant gratification when we feel deprived. Try to identify what kind of release you’re looking for.
  
• Pause to calm yourself down – You can start with organizing your space (or maybe your desktop), removing yourself from the spot (maybe a small walk) or making yourself a cup of coffee or tea. This pause helps you calm down and think better.
  
• Remember that your stressors can’t always be solved – Stressors will always be present. And that’s the most important reason why shopping can’t be a solution. Instead, it’s wiser to think of alternatives that can give you the same outcome without destroying your bank account. I go to the gym because it gives me escape, release, and a nice bump of feel-good hormones once I’m done. Yours could be baking, cooking, taking a walk – anything that doesn’t involve spending.
  
• Delete all the apps – Sadly, non-negotiable. Anything that makes you pull a trigger needs to leave until you’ve figured out a system that helps you manage stress.

Could it be social media?

We know how it is. Influencers are constantly asking us to try new things. You could think about something, and the ads will appear. Social media is designed to make us spend more – so don’t, for a second, believe that it’s because you’re weak-willed. Our generation is being pushed products down our throat like no other generation before. That’s their job. But it’s on us to choose not to consume it. If social media makes you spend more – stay away from it until you figure out how to resist.

Break the habit

Unfortunately, stress has become chronic in our age. There’s no escaping it. So it’s on us to figure out the best ways to manage ourselves in its presence. While shopping might give us temporary relief, it’s likely that the very thing we sought to remove our stress could end up being a fresh source of it.